How do I …?

Almost a year I know Eva, first time I saw her on Jambore, there’s something weird in my heart.
I convinced myself, Eva already had boyfriend. And that feeling was common cause I’m to long not knowing a girl.

Day by day I always convinced that and still… my feeling not less, even a little bit.
Until I’m going to Pangrango, I found a news that Eva no longer had boyfriend. Yippee…. I feel so relieved deep down in my heart, finally I had opportunity (sorry if I’m to cruel about this).
But still, I tried to convinced myself that just a dream in a daylight.

Day by day I still fooling myself. And one day I tried to braving myself to call Eva and knowing much more about Eva. I always thinking about Eva more and more everyday.
Is it love? Am I falling in love with Eva? Is Eva the right person for me?
That kind of questions always in my mind.

I’m starting to pray to Allah about this, hoping to find some clues.

>>>Day by day, I always hoping the best. Unfortunately, recently Eva give me her final decision. No matter what she feeling about me, she will not married me. Permanently. She just want me to be her friend, not more.

Oh God, is it Your plan? Why it’s hurting me so much?

>>>And from now on, day by day I’m trying to live with it. Since my mom died, I try to survive and thanks to You God, I still survive.

But can I survive now???? Or my heart will be more frozen than before??? Why I always keep losing the person that I love???? It’s still big question mark for me.

that’s your story, gue suka cara lu bercerita, dan perfect lu mengalahkan cara gue bercerita di blog…lu lebih paham lebih cepat dibandingkan gue, bagaimana cara bercerita. Dan finnally lu mulai ekstovert, membuka diri lu kembali…
perubahan yang gue pikir gak bakalan lu lakuin…

lu mencoba memahami gue sebanyak yang lu bisa bahkan mengalahkan diri gue sendiri. Dan kalo boleh jujur, sepanjang ini lu cepat mengambil kesimpulan dan mengerti gue. (I just wanted to be honest).

Makasih sudah bercerita banyak, dan membuka diri lu untuk tahu banyak hal mengenai gue, dan berusaha selalu ada pada saat gue butuh.

TUHAN punya rencanaNYA sendiri untuk semua yang DIA ciptakan…

keep smiling ….


16 thoughts on “How do I …?

  1. cinta….
    susah di terjemahkan,apalagi di paksa
    tulisan di atas memang menyentuh banget..
    bentuk suatu usaha untuk mendapatkan cinta
    tp cinta itu blm mampir munkin untuk saat ini
    tp dengan ketulusan dan keikhilasan mungkin akan laen endingnya…

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